Well, Lea is kind of a druggie… Well, she does pot A LOT… and used to smoke. She has a lot of problems — she used to be bulimic, and cuts, and she has a really bad family environment — her step dad treats her like crap. Anyways, Lea hadn’t smoked pot for a long time because she always regrets it after, and the thing she does when she’s high. This time, she went off with her ‘lover’ and another guy (who wasn’t going in the original plan). The original plan was to take a walk with Justin (her ‘lover’), but Sam went along (another guy). Sam had some pot, and they started smoking it, but Lea said that it was way different from any of the stuff she’s ever used before, like it had something else in it… She got pretty scared because she kind of blacked out for parts of the hour and a half she was gone. So, we’re trying to help her get through this. She says that it is hard to stop, and that she wants to — yet she doesn’t, like me and cutting (actually, it’s the same with her and cutting, too).

One big thing is that before that happened (in the same day) Candace told her this story (true) about how she used to use pot, and overdosed on it, ending up in the hospital… her family was torn apart and she doesn’t want that to happen to Lea.

Candace and I have realized that a lot of guys ‘like’ her because she’s easy, and she smokes pot — we’re pretty sure that Justin is into her for mostly that reason, though I don’t think he’s all bad. Ugh… The guys she falls for are usually really shallow and dumb — one of them turns out to be really, really racist, etc.

I talked for two hours each with Candace and Lea on the phone. Basically, we’ve only come up with the fact that Lea is going to have to choose between the regret she says she will feel if she turns down ‘going for a walk’ and the insecurity and broken trust that lingers after. I mean, I totally trust her as a friend — I just don’t trust her with herself.

So basically, it’s bad… really bad.

If you reply, reply here because I don’t want it on my blog (Lea doesn’t want Katie to know)…

~~~~~~~~

So, what do you think of Corey?

lovles,
Kloi-nii-chan

And, seeing as it was a just-for-fun piece, it was FUN to read. Gosh.

You are gifted with the right tools — you simply didn’t choose to turn them on full-blast because it was a silly piece that didn’t need full talent! HA!

….is protectively ranting….

Well… That’s interesting. I definitely think Beth might have a thing for you — Hannah, I think, is clueless.

I’m sure it is. I know you prolly don’t want to hear this, but you should tell them eventually. Maybe even tell Jacob first if that helps. It might make it easier if you have a sibling to help hold you up and be supportive.

OOOOOOOO. That sounds like fun!!! Hmm… I’m thinking her. Just because that picture is perpetually stuck in my mind. You could definitely be back up. Maybe we should all play a bunch of instruments like all the guys in Panic at the Disco. ^-^
So, like, we’d each have a turn to write? That’ll be hard ’cause I can’t discus it at all with you guys.

Luffles,
Clo

Wow. You should tell her how you feel though. I mean, it might not be the bad the to do. She might take it the wrong way, but it would be good to make her understand (at least partially) what you’re going through.

Alas, I seem to cry too much — maybe I am crying for both of us, that’s why my waterworks seem to be running full-blast a lot of the time. My dad was wondering why and I just said I was stressed about that paper I was working on — whatever makes him go away…

~Clo

^-^ When we get together, I’ll force-feed you some.

~Clo

I miss you, love you, need to huggle you and feed to cookie dough,
Chloe

It really sucks that you feel that she would prefer it without you — I don’t think that’s the case. I imagine that you no longer relate to her, and you’re afraid she won’t accept you (have you actually told her?).

I’m always here if you need to call me! AHHHH!!! Does this truly happen all the time, like do you feel that she is weak and you are strong — that she would say nice things over your grave, but doesn’t really feel them? I’m sorry. This is just so, so, so sad! And your tags are making me depressed…

I’m totally bawling now and my dad is coming in.

I’m glad that maybe people are discovering it. ^-^

This makes me feel so sad for you. I had no idea this is what it’s like for you — what you’re going through every day. I feel stupid for being so narrow and not realizing what you’re feeling, what’s tormenting you. Forgive my idiocy and (holy crap) wow.

All the stuff you’re writing is making me want to be there and hug you and be motherly and helpful (even though I know now there’s no way my tiny pieces of useless advice can possibly help you).